Fellow Libtards - Recommendations for the Next Four Years

If you're a fellow Libtard who trusted the Democrats to represent your Liberal interests, protect your civil rights, and ensure that the Alt-Right and/or a Clandestine Organization didn't conspire to steal your right of suffrage, then you're probably feeling: frightened, scared, betrayed, and generally like the Country has turned against you.

Here are some things to keep in mind for the next 4 years:

1.) This is probably what the Alt-Right feels like all the time. The underlying paranoia stoked by the firemen and women at Alt-Right outlets like Fox News. Up until now, we've taken their discourse for granted as some un-American bullshit. Turns out they were dead serious.

Imagine spending day after day, terrified of your own shadow, to the point that you have to strap on a gun to feel safe. That's been the overall pussified trend of the Alt-Right. Rather than stop watching the news, getting help with the PTSD or Paranoid Schizophrenia, or learning how to fight, the Alt-Right has decided they need to be armed to the teeth to feel safe.

Libtard answer is, "Bravo, first step in the Brutalization of Society (cough, cough...pussies)." Well, justified or not, that's the way they feel, day, after Alt-Right News Loving Day.

2.) The Second Amendment - Feeling like America was just stolen from you, yanked right out from under your feet, and worried that Donald J. Trump is going to be the next Hitler, sending his Gestapo door-to-door rounding up his chosen enemies and putting them into camps or deporting them?

Again, that's what the Alt-Right has been saying for years has been their concern. The underlying need to, as civilians, keep ourselves armed as a militia. Again, us Libtards have dismissed this as a bullshit argument, as the "militias" referenced in the constitution are fulfilled by the National Guard of each State, reporting to the Governor.

Unfortunately, the National Guard Reservists have been "called up" to their units, being used and abused as "Army Regulars" for about 15 years now. It was never the intent of the National Guard Reservists to function as Regular Army for this long, and now our National Guards are decimated, thus leaving the States without their militias.

So, if President Trump wants to give the Governor of your state a big "Fuck You" and send the Army marching in, there's not much your Governor can do without the National Guard. Ironically enough, this is when all of those Militia groups would come in handy, if they don't totally piss themselves and join with the Jack-Boot-stomping, "Heil Trump" shouting, Red Dawn overthrowers of American Democracy.

My Suggestion: Take advantage of the Liberal Gun laws we have in place currently, and gorge yourself on the copious buffet of assault weapons, "hunting" rifles, and military diaspora available to you thanks to the NRA. Lock them down in a hidden bunker in your basement, John Wick style, and pray the day never comes when you need them.

In fact, if I were a Muslim or Jew, I'd probably look into getting a Federal Firearms License and just open up my own shop. Kinda hard to badmouth "all them Jews and Muslims" when you control the supply of their hillbilly crack (not Meth, super sweet Guns & Ammo). You might even become friends to the point they realize they were just being a bunch of chickenshit pussies.

In the meantime, learn a self-defense technique, because you're probably going to have to deal with more than one emboldened Trump supporter and choke him (or her) the fuck out.

3.) Stop being such a Pussy! - While the Alt-Right media has felt free to lie, cajole, massage, or otherwise jerk-off the Truth, the "Liberal Media" has just been content to be, "The Media". There is NO Liberal Media. The closest thing we had was John Stewart of the Daily Show, and that was on Comedy Central.

We don't have a single, solitary, bastion of Liberal News to go Toe to Toe with the likes of Hannity, Coulter, O'Reilly, or any number of Alt-Right, lying-ass douche-bags that twist the truth for their own ends. (Just this week I responded to a tweet from Anne Coulter stating the GOP hadn't held the House, Senate, and Presidency since 1928, completely ignoring GW Bush.) So why don't we get some!

It's time for us to go toe-to-toe, head-to-head with this ridiculous Alt-Right bullshit and match it with equally preposterous claims and ideas, so instead of the Left being dragged lifeless into the middle, we force these ass-bags to compromise.

4.) Social Media - Finally, and I can't stress this enough, fuck social media or any other platform that just displays the "Teaser Headline" for any given article. Apparently 99.9% of people don't read the article, are too stupid to understand it, or really don't give a single shit.

I had discussions, ad nauseam, with several individuals who were making judgement's based off of WikiLeaks material posted to Twitter with the most inflammatory Header possible regarding the Clinton Emails. I tried and tried to explain that you start reading an email thread at the bottom, not the top, which is the opposite of twitter.

Might as well be trying to explain gravity to an orangutan.

So seriously, we have 4 years to get our Libtard shit together and fucking neutralize the Social Media propaganda machine that takes 1 racist asshole and connects him to 1000 racist assholes, so we get a bunch of emboldened racist assholes all super pissed off about the fact they don't know how to read.

5.) Or fuck-it, do nothing and see how that turns out for everyone.

Call of Duty Election - Is the Darknet Piggybacking Gaming Networks

Since it has become painfully clear that all of us "Libtards" aren't at all cognizant of what is really going on in the world, the subtext and the pretext, one thing we might want to start paying attention is communication and organizational methods that fall outside conventional media, social media, or standard communications.

Take for example Call of Duty: You can utilize the in-game communication feature to speak with your squad across the country. This communication passes through dedicated servers operated by Activision or one of their developers, so it likely isn't monitored by the NSA or susceptible to XKeyscore. It also isn't logged in any form that can be quantified and metricized. It's the virtual equivalent of real-time socialization and community organization.

So it might come as no surprise that young men who like to play games where you can murder your opponents with gratuitous violence might also be the type of young men to be enthralled by the rantings of a man promising to "bring down the establishment", building his base pandering to the most violent, nationalist tendencies buried deep within his constituency.

Is this the revelation of the year? Probably not. But it does reveal a nearly unrestricted, untraceable method of global communication utilizing high speed servers, the volume traffic upon which would be nearly impossible to catalog and index for the audio feed.

More interestingly would be the potential of the Russian FSB or other hostile entities of utilizing the network for hacking into U.S. systems. Rather than following the conventional route of attempting an attack against a U.S. system by bouncing I.P. traffic around the globe, the entity could utilize the dedicated COD servers combined with the "listen servers" (players systems functioning as servers) generated by the online match.

By piggybacking the COD system, the hostile could attack from a nearly unlimited source of locations within the target territory, and should the hostile be lucky enough that a COD instance is running within a direct target (say a DOD official playing COD) then they would have a near direct connection to their final destination.

It should be said that the above statements would probably hold true of any gaming network. It just so happens that the COD network also caters to the demographic most likely to be Trump supporters and working within a military or para-military field.

Take it for what it's worth, but I certainly wouldn't be leaving anything running COD plugged in to the network unattended, it might be part of the front lines in the Coldest War.

Some Bright Spots About Trump's Honesty - Could He Be Any Worse Than Reagan?

While I realize it seems like the end of the world, especially for those of the non-white, non-heterosexual, non-assault weapon-toting persuasion, there is one bright spot in all of this: Trump's brutal honesty.

Compare this with say, Ronald Reagan, and you'll see Reagan carry an extremely sinister set of policies throughout his Presidency which pretty much mirror Trump's speech; policies which were all couched at the time as, "In the Nation's best interest".

1.) Racism Against Blacks - The Reagan administration's decision to treat the widespread use of illicit substances as a criminal issue rather than a public health issue had a directly negative effect on the American Black population. This policy alone is at the core of the extremely high, disproportionate levels of incarceration of Blacks vs. Whites.

2.) Murder of Muslims - The vacillation of support between Iran and Iraq came to a head during the Reagan years when the Iran-Contra scandal became a sensation; however, even without the scandal it is quite clear that the United States swung heavily from support of Iran to support of Iraq following the Iranian Revolution. The Iran-Contra scandal just simply highlighted that the United States was providing arms to both Iran and Iraq at the same time, resulting in massive casualties and deaths in the Muslim world.

3.) The Mentally Ill - Under the Reagan administration the funding of mental health centers in local communities was stripped, and thousands of mentally ill released onto the streets to become homeless, drug-users, criminals, or dead. His rampant disregard for the care of the mentally-ill extended even to our Veterans. Many of whom, suffering from PTSD, became homeless (think Rambo I) or joined extremely violent criminal organizations based around Motorcycles and Freedom (though these origins date back to WWII).

4.) Escalation of the Cold War - Ronald Reagan's paranoid obsession with the Star Wars program, a global counter-offensive net of lasers that could strike down any ICBM attack, led the United States to the brink of bankruptcy. Reagan spent so much money on the military, stripping out funding for public health, schools, farming programs, and pretty much everything else, that the Soviet Union went bankrupt trying to keep up. Sounds like a win, right? Until you realize all of those ex-Soviet states are now Sovereign Nations with loads of high-grade Soviet Military equipment, including Nuclear weapons. (Thus leading directly to the conflict in Bosnia and Herzegovina, and the ethnic cleansing of Muslim Bosniaks)

So, while by no means am I saying this is ideal; personally, I feel like minorities and non-Evangelicals are a whole lot better off with Trump standing at the Bully Pulpit, denouncing them, revealing his horns so that we may be prepared to Fight, than they were with Reagan systematically destroying their worlds.

All the while smiling that famous perfect smile of "The Gipper".

Trump Rushed Off Stage by Secret Service - New Information (No sources say)

Donald Trump was rushed off the stage Saturday by the Secret Service. Sources at the scene claim the phrase, "He's got a gun" was shouted, which led to the bolting of Trump and the rescue of the man who was being beaten merciless for daring to raise a Clinton sign.

In an interview I didn't have with any Secret Service agent, the agent stated, "Yeah, the whole thing was a misunderstanding. No one actually shouted 'he's got a gun'. The guy himself actually shouted, "Grab em by the pussy," and since that's what we've nicknamed Trump, well we grabbed him and ran.

Pressed further on why Trump has the nickname Pussy, "He's a wannabe trick-ass faker who compares himself to true heroes and veterans that have returned injured from wartime. He's just a total pussy."

No one could be reached for comment because this is fake.

What Is Fake Liberal News?

Fake Liberal News is exactly like Fake Conservative News, except Liberal.